she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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