2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
