I have demons in me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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