Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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