but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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