i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
