this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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