he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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