Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
