I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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