one might say we're banned from that church
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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