K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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