But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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