I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
