she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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