Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
