I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
