i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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