i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
