This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
