I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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