If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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