So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
