Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
