all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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