At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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