Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
