I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
