never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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