You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
