He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
