i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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