Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
