You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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