Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
