Moan for me like Helen Keller
she looked like the before picture.
it was like eating out sand paper
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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