I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize