I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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