No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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