Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That accounts for only three of the penises
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
