Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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