Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize