Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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