Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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