Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
