Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
