either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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