I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You are the jesus of drinking
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
