Umm I'm too high to move.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize