very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
