i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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