Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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