I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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