Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
