its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize