Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
