i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
