hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
