I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
