my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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