I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
