Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
