Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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