I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
