This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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