We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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