420 ftw
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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