She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize