I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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