Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
