They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
