Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
