is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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