omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize